About nine years ago, I felt I was at a crossroads in my life. My husband Bob and I were approaching the milestone of our 25th wedding anniversary. One of our daughters had gotten married that spring, and our son was getting married that September. Our youngest daughter was looking forward to her senior year of high school and was excited about leaving home for college. Raising four children very close to each other in age had kept me busy to the point of exhaustion, but my children were grown now. I began to ask God, “What’s next for me?” I prayed for God to lead me to the place He wanted me to go, and I prayed He would give me the courage and obedience to follow where He led.
I considered going back to school. I considered small, part-time jobs and full-time positions. I considered maybe God was calling me to play tennis every single day, but I was pretty sure that wasn’t the case! At the time, I was a small group leader in Bible Study Fellowship (BSF), a role I very much enjoyed. One afternoon, I was in the backyard pulling weeds when I received a call from the BSF area advisor. She asked me if I would begin praying and meet with her to discuss the possibility of becoming a teaching leader for one of the Bible study classes.
My stomach dropped to my knees, I fell into a chair and silently said, “Please God, don’t let this be what You have for me!” But, of course, I knew. I remembered what I had prayed, and as God is true to His word, He expected me to be true to mine.
There are so many things I could say about the experience. I had never—not even once—spoken before a large group, and I was committing to speak before 400 or so women every single week. I felt unqualified. The night before my first class, I was so nervous I lay awake tossing, turning and praying all night long. Yet I have had the privilege of seeing God provide over and over, week after week. He is more real to me today than ever before. When I would read in the Bible and sing hymns about walking with God, I would wonder what that looked like. Well, now I know! When you desperately need God, and humbly call out to Him for help, He answers. When you are willing to follow God to the edge, He is there with you.
I can’t say every step of this journey has been easy, but I can say with confidence that it has been worth it!